Monday, May 16, 2011

Respect

I was talking to some second years in Greenwood this weekend about where they are heading next year. I surprisingly found that over 10 of them are staying in town and teaching again. Third years are beyond beneficial to the region and to other CMs coming in. They offer guidance and perspective that only a few years can give you. As I thought about their continued service, I though about how I don't think I could even begin to fathom staying for a third year. I don't know what has changed this year, at the beginning of this year I thought for sure I would stay a third year and study for my LSAT, moving on to law school in a cool three years.

Now, there is no interest in that. I don't think I am good at teaching, I don't like teaching, and I have no real desire to be better at it. That has been a point of frustration for me over the last two months. Usually I am good at what I do, or at least I become better over some time. I have been promoted within almost all of the companies I worked for in college. Here, I don't feel that I have mastered much. I am proficient in it, but not to the point where I am changing lives. I connect with the kids fine, investment being my strong suit, but regarding planning - no way, Jose. I hate planning, I change plans all the time, and generally avoid it at all costs. Yes, when I sit down and do it, I do well. The plans are good and thorough, and my kids master the material, but that's usually on Sunday nights. I just can't seem to want that. And, as we teach our kids, the "I want" is a huge part of your own education.

2 comments:

  1. I hear ya CBB. When I worked with Red Wing HS, some of my original drive to teach has diminished. I realized that I didn't want to spend all that money to go back to school to not want to teach at the end of the day. But...that gave me some time to take a step back and figure things out again.

    Miss you boo!

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  2. Exactly how I feel. This is awesome.

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