Friday, October 30, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
OoohWee
I don't know if it is the anticipation of next week or what, but this week has just been horrible. Today I broke one of my two goals I set for myself at the end of Institute (1. Say something positive to someone everyday, 2. Do not cry during the school day). It was #2.
I had a horrible first period where students refused to work on the project I assigned them. The students who were their to learn are having a HORRIBLE experience in that class. They don't get to work in silence, they do not get to enjoy the class, and they never finish work when they should. It is all because of my management too. I have two (sometimes four, but mainly two) students who make my classroom a horrible place to be in 1st period. They are disruptive, rude, inconsiderate, and just don't give a shit about what is going on.
Anyway it all came to a head after that horrible hour when those two students returned to me for their 2nd time (during a 30 minute remediation). They refused (again) to do the work that was assigned for the period. They complained and complained. Then one of them started to work and I thought he was being respectful and putting effort in and then while I was helping him through a worksheet he said an absolutely disgusting comment to me about my appearance.
And unfortunately that was my last straw. I held it together for the rest of the period, saying that if I heard him say one more word I would write him up, but as soon as they left I had to excuse myself for a few minutes. I just feel really beat down, and sadly I know it's my fault. I've been too nice, I've been too concerned with making excuses for them. If I don't force responsibility onto them, they will never take it. They are incredibly predictable in that regard.
I'm pretty upset with myself that I let it a) get to this point and b) showed this weakness to anyone who saw me in those moments. I went to the Principal's office and asked him to step him my classroom while I relaxed a bit. He was wonderful and did so right away which really helped me out. After a few minutes I came back, and realized that everything was okay. It was a new class, new students, and a new attitude. So slowly I moved into the lesson (although the students could CLEARLY feel my mood and didn't push me at all that period). They were super respectful, did their work quietly, and will be prepared for the test tomorrow, unlike that 1st period class.
In the past few weeks people have asked me if I hate those two kids like they do, and I always say no. I actually really liked them, I thought they were good kids that just needed some attention. Today really changed that, because you know what, no matter if they need the attention or not -- they know exactly what respectful means, and what it doesn't. And they made the choice to make my life difficult, they made the choice not to do the homework, they made the choice to refuse to take a test. And that is not acceptable anymore. I am not just going to give them a 0 and call it a day, I am going to now give them a 0 and write them up.
Tomorrow starts a new system for that class alone, and man, I hope it works. I just don't want to hate that class like I do right now. I want them to learn.
I had a horrible first period where students refused to work on the project I assigned them. The students who were their to learn are having a HORRIBLE experience in that class. They don't get to work in silence, they do not get to enjoy the class, and they never finish work when they should. It is all because of my management too. I have two (sometimes four, but mainly two) students who make my classroom a horrible place to be in 1st period. They are disruptive, rude, inconsiderate, and just don't give a shit about what is going on.
Anyway it all came to a head after that horrible hour when those two students returned to me for their 2nd time (during a 30 minute remediation). They refused (again) to do the work that was assigned for the period. They complained and complained. Then one of them started to work and I thought he was being respectful and putting effort in and then while I was helping him through a worksheet he said an absolutely disgusting comment to me about my appearance.
And unfortunately that was my last straw. I held it together for the rest of the period, saying that if I heard him say one more word I would write him up, but as soon as they left I had to excuse myself for a few minutes. I just feel really beat down, and sadly I know it's my fault. I've been too nice, I've been too concerned with making excuses for them. If I don't force responsibility onto them, they will never take it. They are incredibly predictable in that regard.
I'm pretty upset with myself that I let it a) get to this point and b) showed this weakness to anyone who saw me in those moments. I went to the Principal's office and asked him to step him my classroom while I relaxed a bit. He was wonderful and did so right away which really helped me out. After a few minutes I came back, and realized that everything was okay. It was a new class, new students, and a new attitude. So slowly I moved into the lesson (although the students could CLEARLY feel my mood and didn't push me at all that period). They were super respectful, did their work quietly, and will be prepared for the test tomorrow, unlike that 1st period class.
In the past few weeks people have asked me if I hate those two kids like they do, and I always say no. I actually really liked them, I thought they were good kids that just needed some attention. Today really changed that, because you know what, no matter if they need the attention or not -- they know exactly what respectful means, and what it doesn't. And they made the choice to make my life difficult, they made the choice not to do the homework, they made the choice to refuse to take a test. And that is not acceptable anymore. I am not just going to give them a 0 and call it a day, I am going to now give them a 0 and write them up.
Tomorrow starts a new system for that class alone, and man, I hope it works. I just don't want to hate that class like I do right now. I want them to learn.
Monday, October 26, 2009
To Start My New Attitude
Okay, so now that I have recognized my struggles (see previous post) I am going to move forward into a better life...effective immediately. I need to change something. This is a quote that I found today that I think is the first step for me:
"Each student did something correct today. Find a good think in every student, every class, every day. "
It's really true. Hey, for some of them it is showing up on time, for others it is completing an assignment, for others it is simply sitting in their chair all day. Whatever it is, find it and say something about it to the class. Tomorrow I implement this attitude. I drew it on a notecard, highlighted it all over, and taped it to the middle of my desk so I have to stare at it each day. Even if the little brats try to get me, I'll just smile and say, "thank you."
"Each student did something correct today. Find a good think in every student, every class, every day. "
It's really true. Hey, for some of them it is showing up on time, for others it is completing an assignment, for others it is simply sitting in their chair all day. Whatever it is, find it and say something about it to the class. Tomorrow I implement this attitude. I drew it on a notecard, highlighted it all over, and taped it to the middle of my desk so I have to stare at it each day. Even if the little brats try to get me, I'll just smile and say, "thank you."
Manic Monday
We had our last "sanity-check" meeting last night with a Teach for America facilitator. It has been a nice thing to have each week, making sure we're on track and have some people looking out for us. The topic of the meeting was the different phases you go through as a first year teacher (and really every year...as this job is a perpetual circle ...FML)
What's crazy is yesterday I was at one stage...and now I feel like I am at the second stage. First they say that you are an idealist, that quickly fades though once you are in the classroom. You transition into a crazy busy person that focuses solely on the day-to-day because you feel like there is so much going on around you that there is no future past the 8 hours in the classroom each day. That was the phase I was in until today. I felt so much pressure and that there was so much to do all the time, especially with basketball on top of it after school.
But, as a result of today and the last few days, I have really moved into step three: disillusionment. Today SUCKED. Last week SUCKED. No fun, no smiling, no positivity - and these are things I am not used to in my life. I don't want to be unhappy, I don't want to feel like I am putting effort in for nothing, I don't want to feel weight on my shoulders. UGH
These kids...like I don't even know. Why do you make the same decisions each day? For example, what put me over the edge today. I try to greet the students at the door each day. I like saying hello, and I also like seeing where everyone is at (getting a quick read on them). WELL unfortunately that will not be happening anymore because in my 6th period class the students take each others' journals and HIDE THEM. EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY. Okay, I am not stupid, I don't think. Maybe I just don't get the joke, but I absolutely do NOT understand why it is funny EVERY DAY. So today I just snapped and said, "if this happens again I am going to walk every single one of you down to the office and get you written up, because I know that every single one of you has hidden a journal at some point this year. If you all want to go to ISS (In school suspension) for 3 days, then fine, I guess I'll have another planning period free for three days. Either way, do not touch a single journal unless it has your name on it." I wanted to add a few cuss words, but I resisted.
Anyway, I just feel like there are a lot of things going wrong. Hopefully with some positive reinforcement, some new incentives, and me just coming in with a better attitude (because I vented here) things will go better tomorrow. Everyday is a NEW DAY. I wrote that on a post-it today. Believe it.
What's crazy is yesterday I was at one stage...and now I feel like I am at the second stage. First they say that you are an idealist, that quickly fades though once you are in the classroom. You transition into a crazy busy person that focuses solely on the day-to-day because you feel like there is so much going on around you that there is no future past the 8 hours in the classroom each day. That was the phase I was in until today. I felt so much pressure and that there was so much to do all the time, especially with basketball on top of it after school.
But, as a result of today and the last few days, I have really moved into step three: disillusionment. Today SUCKED. Last week SUCKED. No fun, no smiling, no positivity - and these are things I am not used to in my life. I don't want to be unhappy, I don't want to feel like I am putting effort in for nothing, I don't want to feel weight on my shoulders. UGH
These kids...like I don't even know. Why do you make the same decisions each day? For example, what put me over the edge today. I try to greet the students at the door each day. I like saying hello, and I also like seeing where everyone is at (getting a quick read on them). WELL unfortunately that will not be happening anymore because in my 6th period class the students take each others' journals and HIDE THEM. EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY. Okay, I am not stupid, I don't think. Maybe I just don't get the joke, but I absolutely do NOT understand why it is funny EVERY DAY. So today I just snapped and said, "if this happens again I am going to walk every single one of you down to the office and get you written up, because I know that every single one of you has hidden a journal at some point this year. If you all want to go to ISS (In school suspension) for 3 days, then fine, I guess I'll have another planning period free for three days. Either way, do not touch a single journal unless it has your name on it." I wanted to add a few cuss words, but I resisted.
Anyway, I just feel like there are a lot of things going wrong. Hopefully with some positive reinforcement, some new incentives, and me just coming in with a better attitude (because I vented here) things will go better tomorrow. Everyday is a NEW DAY. I wrote that on a post-it today. Believe it.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
What a day.
Let me preface this by saying it's going to be graphic. First hour was a test today, and a long first 50 minutes to start the day. A student had his cell phone out and I told him to put it away or I would have to take it. Then he took it out again (strike 2). I told him to give it to me (5-10 times) and said that he could pick it up after school.
He refused 10 times so I said that he would be written up. Then he said that he'd give me the phone, but as I walked away with the phone he said "fuck this." I wasn't exactly sure what he said so I said "Did you just swear?" and he said "No, I just cussed." I said, well you can go to the office for that. He then proceeded to THROW his journal across the room (clipping someone on the way) and stormed out. Then called me a "fucking bitch," and a cunt. So, that's great. There were some other choice words, but that was the jist of it. Alas, it was a lovely hump day.
He refused 10 times so I said that he would be written up. Then he said that he'd give me the phone, but as I walked away with the phone he said "fuck this." I wasn't exactly sure what he said so I said "Did you just swear?" and he said "No, I just cussed." I said, well you can go to the office for that. He then proceeded to THROW his journal across the room (clipping someone on the way) and stormed out. Then called me a "fucking bitch," and a cunt. So, that's great. There were some other choice words, but that was the jist of it. Alas, it was a lovely hump day.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
MKE for the weekend.
I had a GREAT weekend in MKE. Jennifer and Ian Wulf are a lovely newlywed couple! The wedding was GORGEOUS and the company was even better.
Good Professional Development!
Today I had to be taken out of the classroom. I was not looking forward to another wasted day of professional development, BUT I was wrong! We had a workshop with America's Choice (a government program) and the ideas that came out of it were super. I feel like I can make immediate changes in my classroom that will be effective.
We talked a lot about different options. The first thing that was super helpful was vocabulary. I have been having a SUPER hard time with this because I am never sure if I should have them memorize things, write things down, work in groups, etc. But these were nice ideas. For one, I think I am going to start using music and poems every time we do a lesson. I think having the kids pick out as many pieces of figurative language as possible from one piece will help with some healthy competition and application.
Sometimes I feel bad assignming vocabulary homework as definitions...but at the same time, if they don't know the definition how can they define it? It's been a problem. BUT, either way, the tips I got today were super helpful!
Second, we talked about stations. This was helpful because I do always have students who finish work early, and by having stations set up around the room will avoid disruptions because some people are done first. I think I am going to work on this for the week, and then work it into my incentive plan (like if they complete a station, then they get some stickers, etc.). Hopefully this will help! Yay!
I am excited to get back into the swing of things tomorrow. Hopefully these are effective in the classroom, not just at the meeting. Hope everyone is doing well! :)
We talked a lot about different options. The first thing that was super helpful was vocabulary. I have been having a SUPER hard time with this because I am never sure if I should have them memorize things, write things down, work in groups, etc. But these were nice ideas. For one, I think I am going to start using music and poems every time we do a lesson. I think having the kids pick out as many pieces of figurative language as possible from one piece will help with some healthy competition and application.
Sometimes I feel bad assignming vocabulary homework as definitions...but at the same time, if they don't know the definition how can they define it? It's been a problem. BUT, either way, the tips I got today were super helpful!
Second, we talked about stations. This was helpful because I do always have students who finish work early, and by having stations set up around the room will avoid disruptions because some people are done first. I think I am going to work on this for the week, and then work it into my incentive plan (like if they complete a station, then they get some stickers, etc.). Hopefully this will help! Yay!
I am excited to get back into the swing of things tomorrow. Hopefully these are effective in the classroom, not just at the meeting. Hope everyone is doing well! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)